I am a queer, nonmonogamous, unmarried, polyamorous woman in my mids. I get that my relationship experience is not your standard-issue happily-ever-after heteronormative story. The thing is, sex drive varies from person to person. I know that my particular set of sexual circumstances is different from most. It distracted from the bigger issues at hand mostly loss-related but filled some pretty big voids — at least temporarily.

Fast-forward: I got all the therapy and pharmaceuticals I ever needed to make peace with my loss issues and move forward.

A wide range of sexual appetites can be found in both men and women, and same- sex couples grapple with mismatched libidos just as.

My friends and I bounce these experiences off one another. Trauma and coping are funny things. They draw out of us unusual or seemingly untimely instincts and needs. I coped in a lot of different ways. I also shopped — a lot. After my last surgery, I impulse-bought a Vuitton bag and had it overnighted to my house.